Tuesday, March 31, 2009

30% Chance of Rain , 100% Chance of Snap

Its Tuesday, it’s climbing to 60 degrees here in NY, it’s Sunny and the feeling of Spring is in the air. But as you know, with Spring comes rain…and it looks like this week will have its share, patches of rain, so don’t cancel the cook out just yet. Anyhow, get your ass outside tonight, even if its just to grill some chicken for the wife and kids…if you are single like me, grill some chicken for yourself and a bud, then troll the town for a Veterans Tuesday…talk about the G-20 if you want, talk about my Tar Heels if you feel up to it…just get out. For it could be a lil Wet on Hump Day and Thirsty.

Grip It and Rip It

I don’t know about you all, but since we are an active bunch, I have to say I am bummed not to have made skiing this year. Not to say it’s too late with Spring Skiing here, but reality is, just aint happening this year. And it’s too bad, because as we all know, mountains produce hot tubs, Suds, some serious Snap, and solid hammers for the ladies. Ski patrol is just a fancy label for Crushing Ass, and God Bless em, that’s the way it was when we were kids, that’s the way it should be for our kids, kids, no? Hell, even A-Rod made it out West to the mountains…apparently he was in Aspen recently (check today’s NY Post), checking out the local Cougs. As a Yankee fan, I can’t stand this fck, but as a male that enjoys Snap, can’t really knock the guy down. Bottom line is, if you are going to gun for that last bit of slushy snow, maybe you Buy a pair of these gloves…and remember ladies, they come in small for that late season fling with your roommate…just saying!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

STOP, Cougar Time!!!

Sitting here watching the Nova game...been Sippin pretty steadily the whole day, played wolf, got crushed by sun and now back at buddies apt in Greenwich. Since we earned a solid buzz over hours of indulgence, I think I have earned a night on the town...COUGAR town. Seriously, I lived here as a pup but never as a single male, single adult, single jingle bells to all. So I will hit the likes of Barcelona, Polpo and others, because fellas, if I am not reporting the Greenwich coug's, who the hell will? Kidding...I am just here to Sip and make sure we are all enjoying life, with a smile or two. Anyhow, hats off you you all, i hope you are having fun in whatever your doing...Sip one for this lil guy, will ya...and hats off to the Cougs...stay hungry...keep eatin'.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Getting That Clammy Feeling

Remember fellas, when there is smoke, there is fire…even if you end up getting chatty with a gal that’s looks like a tall glass of water, she has friends…friends with hams, cans, snap or loose morals. Its going to be 65 today here in New York, so think about it, if last night you thought those clams were looking to eat, tonight’s the night they feed, and you know from science class that a clam cant eat if its closed…so best of luck out there, cheer for them HEELS and crack a fcking Sud. God Bless America!

That is one happy clam…or oyster. Didn’t know Hoots sold Oysties. Well done lil man…you have a great father on the other end taking that pic.

And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fck yourself, San Diego.

So I am watching Bloomberg TV(not by choice) and the anchor was clearly reading off the teleprompter. My guess is, whoever wrote this lil bit must have been in a rush or just doesn’t care for the lil beauty. This is her, picture up top. Anyhow, she was talking about this new animation flick and goes, “Have you ever had the feeling of balls bouncing off you face?” Then turns beat red and tries not to laugh…well when you as hung over and horned up as I am, it made my morning. That and it inspired me to get this lil French hotty back in the rotation.

I guess the French do wine well, food well and news well…skin to win sista.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Fargo, She's Wet

So I role out with a buddy last night, Sip a few Suds, one short brownie and head back to the apt...sitting here solo watching the weather channel a couple things hit me. First of all, the Floods of Fargo are going to reach 41 feet? WTF is that? So we here on the north east are complaining because Spring hasn't Sprung...well neither have our damns. Its snowing, freezing and ummm, oh yeah, flooding in North Dakota...let's keep out prayers with them these next couple days, and hope they start drying out over there. That being said, you have to imagine the second thought was one that focused on boning. Have you ever slayed with the weather channel in the back ground? Well if you haven't, you are in for a treat. You get slow Spanish spicy music for the undress sloppy make out sesh, you get Kenny G style lick my ham tunes and then every once and a while, you get a lil sprinkle tinkle on my face RnB. So if you find yourself back at the pad, sans IPOD and no stereo to keep the awkward silent bone at bay, tune into your local TWC and call it a night. Its full proof...u get whiskey pole, blame it on Fargo...you need to hold off another minute, go all one eyed willy and tilt your head towards Mostly Sunny Denver...its got all your answers. Best of luck Fargo, we are pulling for you, some literally, some figuratively.

Eager Beaver

The NY Post has been all over this story, so hats off to them. This is a love story about old balls Georgie David and Lil Miss Swede Snap Countess Marie Douglas-David. Here it is in a nut shell. Swede works on wall st, loves money, married old balls for more money. Old balls buys her everything she wants, and in return gets to drill her at will. Here is where the story gets me confused. David, 66 married Swede 36 for her bod and her brains, but since he has a brain, looks like boning is what this is all about. Well now he is claiming she wanted sex too much and was a total animal in the sack “forcing” him into “rough” sex. Last I looked, Johnny nut bag, that’s the program you signed up for. Give this woman half and let’s get back to the basics. We are closing in on Striper season here in NY, so get those covers off your boats, get those rods and reels lined and hose the cobs out of the coolers…ITS TIME TO START CRUSHIN SUDS ON THE WATER.

Monday, March 23, 2009

CAN You, I could...but CAN we? Thats The Question

This is simply a tribute to the world of recycling...because without CANS, what would we save? God Bless Those CANS and May God always bless America!!!
Now those are great CANS

Sank You Very Much, May I Have Another?

So here I am sitting at my new apt, salt air in the air, cougars lurking in the dark and watching Monday night Wold Baseball Classic. I am a baseball guy, like most Americans...so when I see Korea playing Japan I think one thing and one thing only...THERE IS NO WAY WE CAN BUILD THAT MANY CARS IN SO LITTLE TIME!!! Seriously though, congrats to this 2 teams...Norm would be proud. Hang in there everyone, for there is nothing wrong with a lil raw bar from time to time. Oh, and as of right now, the score is Japan 1, Korea 0! Thats likes 10 million to nothing for us Americans. Go get em Korea! Plenty of time!!!

Friday, March 20, 2009

It's Beginning to look a lot like Snapper, every where you go!

Nothing says WELCOME SPRING, like the gentle fall of a winter snow flake. WTF is going on here, Gore? Anyhow, let us not focus on the chilly air, but rather the fake hammed cougar with the bright blond hair. I roll into a local oyster house last night, only wanting a sud and an order to go and to my surprise; there she was…Lisa McCougartits. And if there is anything we young pieces of meat know, it’s if a coug has firm hams, the world will know it. So the V Neck has brought me in like a vector beam, but what do I see sitting on the bar next to her…that’s right, another glass. Now I am thinking it’s like a VelasoRaptor and there is a coug in the mist, waiting to pounce OR it’s her cheesy boyfriend taking a piss. My answer was given to me as Bob came walking out up to us, chest out, chin up and standing all of 4 foot 3. I drew my attention to the tube, hoops in play. Old lady Chinny-Chin-hairs was sitting there talking to the tender about UNC-Chapel Hill(my alma mater) . She says, Obama picked UNC to win, so I picked em to win too! They have all that pressure to win now! I said, “Mam, no offense, but I am pretty sure the Heels want to win for themselves, for their coach and for their school…not sure they care too much about one guys pick. Besides, we have seen a few of his picks come and go in days…the last thing we need is his “complete confidence” pick.” Well I have never seen so many whiskers scowl so quickly…she goes, “I wouldn’t kick a gift horse in the mouth.” Yeah lady, well how about smack an old horse in the teeth?” Well, that’s what I thought, at least. Needless to say, I got my sud, kissed the coug on the cheek, winked at Bob and hit the road. God Bless America…Go Get Em Heels.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

What's green and stays out all night?

Paddy O'furniture.

Discover Ireland...

Friday, March 13, 2009

That, My Little Angle, Is Daddy's Hammer

Sick birthday suit, no? I am sure those kids wont be fcked for life...I guess Mr. and Mrs. FreakFest missed a couple Parenting classes.
I want to give a special Birthday shout out to the BIG GUY, the one, the only...Beazle! I think you all can rest knowing that Beaz will be Sippin Suds pretty aggressively this weekend...and why not, its going to be beautiful outside...perfect Sippin weather. I don't need to tell you all to get outside and enjoy it...so have a great weekend, Keep Smilin, Keep Sippin. I am heading back to Texas...where EVERYTHING IS BIG.

When Irish Hams Are Saggin

You know how Sweet Dick, Snerds and I feel about New Years being a sloppy night where fights and tears or inevitable...well if you think that's bad, oooooof, here comes Mic Head Butt Day. I am not saying its a bad thing for a bunch of people to get rip roaring drunk, just do me a favor, Lucky O'Brien, keep the fists on your Suds and your shouting into song...then we can all have a good time getting mauled by Sally McGilititties.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

St. Patick's Day is coming...

Bobby J loves St. Paddy's day for a couple reasons. First he's 100% Irish from the waist down and second he gets to have the following conversation:

Bobby J: Do you have any Irish in ya?
Girl: No, no I don't.
Bobby J: You want some?

Magic. Pure magic. You try that this St. Paddy's and thank me later,

JSS goes high tech...

That's right the new laptops are here!

Public Service Announcement (click to ENLARGE) hahahahhaa

It's important to stretch...

I have to honest. This dude is showing some solid effort. I mean he has those drumsticks up there pretty high, but I just don't see him making it there. But dream the impossible dream my friend. And yes I did try the same thing while writing this and my neck is killing me.

I really love kids....

they are soooo tender...

My research project is over and what I have discover could save the world.

Sitcoms with the kitchen on the left are 70% funnier than those with the kitchen on the right. The world order will now be restored.

Oh Dear Lord!

Have a Happy Snappy Thursday everyone...and if you can look away after 3 go arounds, well then you are stronger then me...dear Lord that last second of vid is enough to keep me ogling like a zombie...can't seem to pull myself away!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Don't Give Me That Sht

Let me ask you a very serious question. Well, 2 questions...1) Do you see what I see? 2) Picture in your head, the meal you had for dinner last night...got it? Ok, now picture the food you had for breakfast today...ok great. Now imagine leaving them out over night, maybe 4 nights. Sure they would rot, grow a little mold and so on. Smells pretty bad...but not nearly as bad a deuce. So I ask this...what in the fck does our body do to food during the digestive process that turns cherrios and banana's into steamy, sticky, gnarly peices of sht? I mean, our body extracts the nutrients of a meal and then just decides to take the left overs and, you know, transform it into the most vile substance known to man. Pretty normal. Anyhow, random thought, but after "my buddy" ripped one and cleared out the area, I had to ask the question.

Snapless In Seattle

Its sad to say that yesterday, as much ambition I had to burn down Greenwich, the only real Snap I saw was behind the counter at the gas station where I was getting the truck tuned. That's not to take anything away from this lil grease monkey, its just I was hoping to see some sort of night life after sundown. The gals must have been bunked in with a good book. I think a few factors kept the kittens at home...cold, rainy, Tuesday...we will give it another go tonight. Its just the kind of guy I am. Keep Sippin Everyone...as far as Sweet Dick Mackie and his dark, witty posts...I am at a loss of words...the guy is surfing somewhere in Central America. God Speed Sweet Dick Mackie...you broke my fckin heart.
Greenwich gals, here is what we are hoping for...its not a huge deal...heck, its not even a lil deal...its a just a few cats having a couple suds and socializing with the locals.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

One Love and One Hot Daughter

Here's a pic of Bono, bookended by his wife Ali Hewston and his smoking hot daughter, Jordan. I mean, if being a rock legends daughter doesn't do it for you, maybe its the fact that she is 19 and getting hotter every year. God Bless Her Irish Eyes and May God Bless America.

Fear The Bleach Job...There's Still Oil In That Can

I'll tell you what, living up here in the burbs is fantastic. Doing things like jogging, going to the doctor for check ups and now today, getting the rig checked out. Healthy livin! Oil change and tire rotation are in order this evening. Sure I miss the city, sure I miss the non stop Snip Snap walking around, the energy and the chaos. But the grass is always greener on the other side. Of course, being single searching for a sud could be fun in Omaha(somewhere in middle America...that's right, SING IT!)...tonight, I am meeting a couple buds, trolling the water of Greenwich...full report coming tomorrow.


So yesterday I rolled to the Dermatologist to get a pre summer full body check. You see, I have fair skin but love the sun more then a Eye Tal prepping for DJ's.(www.njguido.com) I walk into the doc's office and there are old people, young people, sick people and crying people...instant hell. I am not a germa phobe but seeing that these people are there, and not for a full body scan, you have to imagine something is crawling all over their skin, and they are looking for the cream to cure it. So as I am standing there naked as the day I was born, having Doctor Fell Good check me out, head to toe as he whistles in the wind I start thinking, "Are those the same glves he had when he rolled in here?" Doc's office Door knobs, pens, chairs, elevator buttons...they all have to be infected, right? Maybe I am nuts, but Operation Check Willy is in effect for the next couple days. Thanks for the Pic Huss.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Suds Never Looked So Sweet

I mean, I see this pic and I think one thing, SUDS...ok, two things, but Suds is one of them. Weekend was solid..pretty standard actually. After crushing myself til 4am Thursday night, Friday was a full blown Bunk Fest. Woke up early, picked up a couple buds(Ambs and Clarsonian) and went huntin. What a day for it...65 degrees, blue bird skies and pleanty of feathers. Sipped a few Bud Suds with the DU fellas and headed back to town...all in all, a chill weekend capped with my TAR HEELS beating up on dook, those fckin squids! Anyhow, as the world comes to an end, stay positive, hang with your buds, pour a cold one for your sweetheart and try and get a lil lovin. Keep it clean and God Bless These United States!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Tastes Like Chicken...Spring Chicken

What does this gal have to do with last night? Absolutely nothing, except maybe by midnight, even the CHUDS started to look like lil Miss Button Down. How great would that be tonight, to roll home, dragging from the night before and a long days work only to see your girl waiting for you, just out of the shower in some nice cotton whiteys, a button down left open and a cold sud with your name written all over it. Then comes the massage, then comes the slay sesh, then comes the alarm clock, wake up Tony, ain't happening...BUT like the LOTTO, ya never know. Anyhow, last night I tended bar at Southern Hospitality and let me tell yeah, I had a blast working the stick. Kecks, Cooey, Dolch and the boys came by, crushed a few Suds and took care of the bar. They helped entertain the smokin toe heads too, true gentlemen! I can honestly say, I have not seen that many blond domes in one spot since Children of the Corn. If you are into hot blonds and spicy brunettes doing tequila like the world is coming to an end, than last night was your scene...if not, well I guess we were glad not to have ya. Anyhow, thanks to all for coming...if you missed it, don't sweat it, we will get em next time. Spring is in the air everyone...so do yourself a favor...get out side this weekend, dust off those fishing poles, those rusty irons, those white speedos? and most importantly, gals...get those Sun Dresses out of the closet...we LIVE for that look. Spring fever should be thick come Saturday night. Have a Sud for me, will ya and may God Always Bless America...we need it.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

How Many Times Do I Have To Say It

You can tell a LOT by the first bite!!! And look at out lil gal below...I mean, talk about committed to the program. Even throws in a lil hair tug, for full effect! Now that's a gal you can bring home to ma. Hi mom, meet Miss AnnaLynn Mccord.

Looking Forward To A Sud

Hey all, really looking forward to Sippin some Suds tonight at ole Southern Hospitality...\what will you find here? Brown waters, clear waters, six packs and mom's daughters! I am talking Hams, and Hammers, Sliders and Slammers. Will be hard to find a thirst unquenched(I dont think thats a word...and tonight we will prove it). See you tonight, and we will be Sippin as Hard as we can! Take care and may God Bless America.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Have You Seen Cocktail? Hold the Tail...I mean Cock, SHT

Tomorrow night, Thursday evening, night after Hump Day...whatever you want to call it, try and stop by and Sip a Sud with Kat. Sure there will be cuties there, for hams, clams studs and buds. Its going to be a booze fest from the get go. Kick off is at 6pm. Come by, show some support for your fellow sudders. Everyone there will have the same goal in mind...Sip Heavy, Laugh a Lil and Fire on as much Snap/Hammer as possible. Come for the cocktails, stay for the potential slay. Tequila will be served in barrels!
This place, Southern Hospitality is located on 76th/77th and 2nd, East Side of St.
Keep Sippin, Keep Smilin...See You Tomorrow Night