Nothing says WELCOME SPRING, like the gentle fall of a winter snow flake. WTF is going on here, Gore? Anyhow, let us not focus on the chilly air, but rather the fake hammed cougar with the bright blond hair. I roll into a local oyster house last night, only wanting a sud and an order to go and to my surprise; there she was…Lisa McCougartits. And if there is anything we young pieces of meat know, it’s if a coug has firm hams, the world will know it. So the V Neck has brought me in like a vector beam, but what do I see sitting on the bar next to her…that’s right, another glass. Now I am thinking it’s like a VelasoRaptor and there is a coug in the mist, waiting to pounce OR it’s her cheesy boyfriend taking a piss. My answer was given to me as Bob came walking out up to us, chest out, chin up and standing all of 4 foot 3. I drew my attention to the tube, hoops in play. Old lady Chinny-Chin-hairs was sitting there talking to the tender about UNC-Chapel Hill(my alma mater) . She says, Obama picked UNC to win, so I picked em to win too! They have all that pressure to win now! I said, “Mam, no offense, but I am pretty sure the Heels want to win for themselves, for their coach and for their school…not sure they care too much about one guys pick. Besides, we have seen a few of his picks come and go in days…the last thing we need is his “complete confidence” pick.” Well I have never seen so many whiskers scowl so quickly…she goes, “I wouldn’t kick a gift horse in the mouth.” Yeah lady, well how about smack an old horse in the teeth?” Well, that’s what I thought, at least. Needless to say, I got my sud, kissed the coug on the cheek, winked at Bob and hit the road. God Bless America…Go Get Em Heels.
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