Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Let Me Get This Straight

The nation's top party schools, according to Princeton Review's 2009 survey of 122,000 students.

1. Penn State University, State College, Pa.2. University of Florida, Gainesville, Fla.3. University of Mississippi, Oxford, Miss.4. University of Georgia, Athens, Ga.5. Ohio University, Athens, Ohio6. West Virginia University, Morgantown, W.Va.7. University of Texas, Austin, Texas8. University of Wisconsin, Madison, Wis.9. Florida State University, Tallahassee, Fla.10. University of California-Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara, Calif.11. University of Colorado, Boulder, Colo.12. University of Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa13. Union College, Schenectady, N.Y.14. Indiana University, Bloomington, Ind.15. DePauw University, Greencastle, Ind.16. University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Tenn.17. Sewanee: The University of the South, Sewanee, Tenn.18. University of North Dakota, Grand Forks, N.D.19. Tulane University, New Orleans, La.20. Arizona State University, Tempe, Ariz.

PENN STATE ROCKS!!! The Nittany Lions win the title of NUMBER ONEPARTY SCHOOL? The only reason this makes any sense whatsoever is because the girls there are so busted and the dudes are such squids, that one would need to drink themselves into a deep stupor just to get their willies wet. Now this isn’t to single out the gals at Penn St, but when compared to the rest of the country, come on now. No thanks, I will take Ole Miss, Fla, Fla St, Arizona St, Georgia etc…I look at this list and check off places I have been and places I wish I’ve been…at no point do I find myself saying, “you know what, fck the tan skin, short skirts, cleavage draped pearl necklace look…Give me the rolled jeans, sweatshirt around the waste, scrunchy side pony tail snap.” Bottom line, you know your fcked when you find youself going to U Penn for Snap. Me, I am a USC(SoCal), UNC grad…sure they didn’t make the top 20, but respected all the same. So for all you Penn Staters, drink up…this years freshman crop are making their way to campus, rumblin, stumblin, bumbling their way to your beds. As for any of you young bucks that have some real ambitions to tame the almighty snap, two words… ROAD TRIP!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Big Ben will not be probed!

RENO, Nev. (AP)—Law enforcement officials in Nevada have no intention of opening a criminal investigation into allegations Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger(notes) raped a woman at a Lake Tahoe hotel-casino a year ago, the sheriff’s department said Wednesday.

The woman, a native of Canada who had worked at Harrah’s Lake Tahoe hotel-casino since 2003, never went to outside authorities with her story, and it’s unclear why she decided to file the lawsuit seeking hundreds of thousands of dollars a year after the alleged incident.

They should have just said that she was Canadian from the start and everyone would have know this a hoax. It is clearly a plot to dethrone the Super Bowl as the premier sporting event and replace it with the Gray Cup.
I mean, look at the facts.
She's a 31 y/o Casino employee in Reno, not even Vegas, I mean Reno is like the Single A of Casino towns. If she was ever remotely good looking she would have been sent to Vegas 5 years ago.
Next, she's 31. I'm not saying that the milk is spoiled, but I would look a few cartons back before I picked this one. I am sure that any 31 y/o would love to have 25 y/o named "Big Ben" toss them the spiral for 4 quarters.
I mean look at his girlfriend...
Finally, she's from Canada. So you know that there's a 99% chance she looks like a seal and 100% chance she was so drunk she could have banged a seal.
I think that the US needs to retaliate and I will not be happy with anything short of all out assault against Canada.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Have you noticed a trend? I certainly have. I sit here all day with 3 screens to my left, Fox News, Bloomy TV and CNBC. Now its no secret that SEX sells, but I guess some programs are playing catch up. Fox is known for their long legged anchors and V-Neck head shots…Bloomberg TV is holding their own, but CNBC has been left in the dust. Sure they have Trish Regan who is known for giving a naked hummer to an executive producer to get AHEAD in the oh so ethical field reporting world at CBS (scandal, truth or lies…not sure, don’t care) Then there is Becky Quick, known for her,”Just had time for a Quickie, sorry I’m late, Bed Head.” This gal is what Norm is to Cheers at some random local Strip Club in Dirty Jerz. Again, this is hear-say…but I heard, so here, I say. CNBC couldn’t just side to the side-boob and let other networks clean their kittes week in week out…something had to be done. Now, notice CNCB is pushing to show more leg(Mellisa Lee), lower v necks(Erin Burnett-aka Reverse CG) and the tighter shirts on one Mr. Maria Caruso Cabrera…best cans on any dude I have ever met. I figure if wee are forced to sit here and watch such dribble…we might as well get some entertainment in the meantime. God Bless the producers. Keep Sippin.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Boys Of Summer

Well, Its Friday…the week has been one of beauty…sure work is dead and friends are scarce, but there should be a few constants in all our lives. SUDS, SUN AND SNAP! So grab a Sixer of brews, a 2 pack of Snap and a Bucket of Soapy Suds and get that ride primed for the weekend. This is cruising weather. Get to the beach, to the park…whatever it takes. Me? I am going hiking/climbing with Porter and a group of monkies. Clearly I mentioned “climbing” simply because a group of dudes going hiking, well, let’s just say I know what happens up there on that mountain. God Bless You All and Keep on Sippin. Simple livin from here on out…what else is there?

Thursday, July 2, 2009


Happy Independence Day to all you fine Americans. Our Freedom came at the hands of our forefathers. Blood was split, families were torn apart and lives were lost…let us celebrate their efforts this weekend and toast Old Glory and all she stands for.

John Adams told his wife, Abigail: “The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.”

Ok, so old Johnny missed the date by 2 days and forgot to mention Suds, but you get the idea. Nothing says, “Happy 4th of July” like plastering our Stars and Bars all over a few washed up cougars and some freak show hairy bean bag. Either way, if you aint Sippin this weekend, you aint American. Have fun, Be Safe and if ever a time to be patriotic, now’s your chance. God Bless America!