Friday, February 27, 2009

It Aint Easy Having Pals

A SEX-MAD Russian died after guzzling a bottle of Viagra pills to keep him going for a 12-hour orgy with two women pals.
The women had bet mechanic Sergey Tuganov £3,000 that he wouldn’t be able to satisfy them both non-stop for the half-day sex marathon.
But minutes after winning the wager, the randy 28-year-old dropped dead with a heart attack, revealed Moscow police.
One of the women, named only as Alina, said: “We called emergency services but it was too late, there was nothing they could do.”
It's always sad when someone passes but man oh man, if you are going to go, it might as well be from over boning. Nice work Rooskie, sorry you wont live to talk about it, but guess what, you are now forever on Sippin. Hats off Commy.
PS-Russian Attack? What a great game that was!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Just One of The Guys...Right, and I'm Cindy Lauper

Not sure how I came across this pic, but here we are. You know I am not sure how to feel about these two, not like I sit around thinking about them at all. But the fact is, Lindsay Lohan is a decent looking gal, from Strong Island that loves to Sip and Sip pretty fcking hard. So I am not going to knock a girl down just cause she loves Sippin Suds, Chewin Snapper and wolfin Hammer. Sure she is surrounded by cameras so we get to see every little thing she does, good or bad...but outside of whoring around and partying all night, is she really that different from you and I? wait...right. Anyhow, after looking at this pic of her and DJ Sam, it reminded me that I have seen this flick before...its a classic. Have a great day. And I can honestly say that this gal, Terry, in the flick, Just One of the Guys, has one of the greatest set of Ham's ever displayed on the silver screen. Sure you have to wait til the final scene on the beach, but the movie is good enough to sit's as 80's as they come.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Just Nailin It Down...easy Tooth

Guns and...GUNS

This is Sardine...hanging with Bobby Jenks. He arrived in Mardi Gras and we're sipping and sipping and sipping suds. I'm the sister of Wood Tooth, whether you like it or not. It's late night and we're on the east side of Austin, the Mad Max industrial side of things, the Greenpoint, the Crown Heights, the Staten Island, the Harlem. Sitting in a 1958 Spartan trailer, Tejas style. Sippin. We're on the premise of Justine's, a forthcoming badass French bistro. It will serve pastis to make you blind, and will have petanque courts. That's boule or bocci for all you non-euros out there. This place will serve you sippers till dawn and steak tartar and steak frites and the other important stuff. Okay, signing off-- much love and sweet dreams oxoxoooxoo
And Bobby J says God Bless America and also mainly Texas.
Bobby J here-check out the website for this resty Sardine was speaking of...I am hearing rumors of naked birds in a bath

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mardi Gras-Fat Fun Bags Tuesday!!!

The terms "Mardi Gras" (mär`dē grä) and "Mardi Gras season",in English, refer to events of the Carnival celebrations, ending on the day before Ash Wednesday. From the French term "Mardi Gras" (literally "Fat Tuesday"), the term has come to mean the whole period of activity related to those events, beyond just the single day, often called Mardi Gras Day or Fat Tuesday.
I just read an article that states, "Women will not face repercussions from Austin Police Department if they bare their breasts at this years Mardi Gras celebration."
You know what tickles me? That I will be on a flight to Austin, TX tonight, spending one evening at the lovely Driscoll Hotel right off of 6th St. It's times like these that make me say look to the skies above and knowing that there is a God and all the good karma I have brought upon this world finds a way to repay you. I will try an get some, ummm, Snap Shots for you all.
The Suds are COLD, the Hams are BOLD, (clap clap clap clap) DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS! Keep Sippin

Lets Call Him, Buddy Lembeck

So I was out with a pal last night...seeing that these are the last nights in Manhattan, we decided to make a run at it. Started at Shorty's, then Raoul's, then Employees Only. Sure I got crushed, Sipped pints of brownies..but my buddy won the prize. He slayed a spicy lil thing. As the story goes, wax was dripped, wine glasses crashed and demands were made. Nothing better then a young vixen telling you what she wants. Actually, it goes for all ages...but if you are in the paws of a cougar, there is a 110% chance you will be Jedi mind tricked into doing exactly what she wants. "These droids are no concern, carry on." or "I am going to strap this on a make you beg for mercy." Oooooof, I am not one to draw a bunch of lines in the sand, but if Alessandra Ambrosia came in strapped up with spit in her eye and ready to go, I would run for the hills like a frightened billy goat. Though think about all the other fun sht you would do....OK, so that's a bad example. Bottom line is, somebody slayed a juicy Snap last night. God Bless the effort, God Bless the Love, God Bless Snap and May God Always Bless America.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Pretty Nice Little Saturday, Actually...Bed Bath and Beyond

I cant believe it...this weekend, sure it was filled with Suds but there was zero hunting, zero fishing, zero activities. A Boozy lunch does count for something. Especially when its in your new hood. The Ginger Man was the place right there on Greenwich Ave...decent burger, nice pints and to my surprise, two flocks of cackling birds...ranging from 20-40...a dish for all appetites.
Anyhow, rain came Sunday and there I was, like a mook, furniture shopping. Not sure what normally happens, but since I decided to move on a Monday and signed lease on a Wednesday, this furniture thing was not going to be a process. I picked out a couch to be delivered, a coffee table, entrance table(what ever the hell that means), ottomans...either way, come next weekend I will be a new man, a man in uncharted waters...a man who knows he wants a Sud, just needs a place to purchase said Sud. Best way to attack this new adventure is with an open mind, a fits full of singles and a Sud in mitt.Wish Me Luck. And dont you worry about a thing, I will keep you posted on the shower bits I need to get.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Beans Don't Burn On The Grill

Clearly this pic here not helping me with the ole HnH. I have a good percentage of blood in the stomach working on the wings and turkey club I just wolfed and another good percentage building up in the hammer...that's leaves a very small percentage of blood flowing to the noggin. So as I sit here, half hammed and brain dead, I realized what my weekend plans are...I have to pack up my sht and move it on out. Anyone care to help a guy out? Suds on me..all you have to do is mule a few couches down 5 flights. No? Alright, well enjoy the weekend and when you are sitting back with icy cold Sud in your mitt, think of me, breaking my back.


What's HnH, you ask? Its pretty simple. You go out huge, you get all boozed up, Suds coming out your eyes, you crash only to wake up still bombed. You head to work, you see a couple pics of smoke shows and you get that old fashion feeling in the hammer/snapper. That's right, its that Hung Over and Horny tingle. And nothing says I love you then a text message to your loved one saying how you cant wait to get home, slay and pass out. God Bless HnH...its the only thing that gets us through the day. Have a great Friday, try to make are only hours away from Slay Bells ring, are you listening.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's Been Too Long

Tonight is a night I will dip thy toe in the bloody waters I call NYC bars and let the sharks attack like its their first meal in 30 days. I will start my night Suddin at a lil watering hole called The Public House. Then up to see Kat at Southern Comfort. See you there?...Some nights you just know its going to get ugly...this my friends, is one of them. I hope to have a good story for you tomorrow. Keep Sippin and just have a blast, no matter where you find yourself. God Bless Snap and May God Bless America.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Listen Up Jerks

The word steroids is defined: a terpenoid lipid characterized by a carbon skeleton with four fused rings, generally arranged in a 6-6-6-5 fashion. Steroids vary by the functional groups attached to these rings and the oxidation state of the rings.
The way I define it is: a quick fix to speed, strength and rebuilding muscles faster post breakdown. The people who use it vary...Pitchers, Catchers, Givers and Takers, Baseballers, Footballers, Swimmers and Trackers. I know people that have used it and they are good people, smart people, young people and dumb people...but they are out there in the masses. So before we start bashing one guy, or one sport, lets take a minute out of our sweet, perfect lives and ask, WHO GIVES A FCK? Sure you don't want your kids to do this crap, but does that mean Brett Farve is a fraud, loser, drugy for using pain pills to deal with muscle breakdown? No, it means people fck up from time to time. Your job is not to judge someone else, your job is to make sure your kid is raised well and doesn't go around beating up the smaller kid, but protecting him.
The guy loves the Snap, Loves the Sud and Loves Baseball...All that adds up to a good man, in my book.
So do me a favor, move on with your own problems. Take a page from Young Connor Hack's book and kick back, Sip a Sud, find a cutie and smile for the haters...Its Sudding Time, PLAY BALL!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Chimps don't kill people... Oh wait they do.

(CNN) -- A Connecticut woman pleaded for police to "please hurry" to save a friend from an attack by a pet chimpanzee, according to emotional 911 recordings released Tuesday by Stamford police.
Police say Travis, seen here as a younger chimp, was like a child to his owner, Sandra Herold.

Police say Travis, seen here as a younger chimp, was like a child to his owner, Sandra Herold.

"He's ripping her apart," Sandra Herold, 70, tells dispatchers about her pet, Travis.

With the chimp squealing in the background, Herold cries out, "He's killed my friend!"

The victim, Charla Nash, 55, remains hospitalized with life-threatening injuries after the chimp, once featured in television commercials for Coca-Cola and Old Navy, attacked her Monday afternoon, police said.

Nash had just arrived at Herold's house when Travis jumped on her and began biting and mauling her, causing serious injuries to her face, neck and hands, according to Stamford Police Capt. Rich Conklin. Conklin said the attack was unprovoked, but he described it as "brutal and lengthy."

The chimp, who was known to walk around town, sometimes without a leash, also liked to surf on the Internet and was able to change the TV channel with a remote, according to a Stamford Advocate article. The paper also reported that Travis watered plants, was able to feed hay to his owner's horses, ate at a table with the rest of the family and sometimes drank wine from a stemmed glass.

First of all I had no idea that there were chimps in Stamford. I mean that has to be the worst place to be a chimp. And I'm actually pretty sad about this because when I was college I watched Planet of Apes for a week straight. And since I was whacked out of my mind - I was totally on the Apes side and vowed I would never go to a zoo again.
I mean this chimp's life sounds like mine. "The chimp, who was known to walk around town, sometimes without a leash, also liked to surf on the Internet and was able to change the TV channel with a remote, watered plants, was able to feed hay to his owner's horses, ate at a table with the rest of the family and sometimes drank wine from a stemmed glass". To be honest this is about the extent of my skills. Except that I'm not allowed to walk through town without a leash and I can't drink out of stemmed glass.

Laces OUT DAN!

That's right - Sweet Dick Mackie...Pet detective... That's where the big money is. This bloggin' ain't exactly making it rain cash...

America Reacts To Obama Stimulus Package

Obama signs hard-fought $787 billion stimulus plan into law in Denver, hoping measure will put a floor under collapsing U.S. economy. Also, just heard Obama sending 10k troops to Afghanistan, half of what was requested. The good news is, Obama's popularity has only gone up. Regardless of whats goin on in the world, I think its safe to say I love America...and these fine young people pictured below:

Friday, February 13, 2009

Have A Heart

Saint Valentine (in Latin, Valentinus) is the name of several martyred saints of ancient Rome. The name "Valentine", derived from valens (worthy), was popular in late antiquity.
I hear everyone saying what a waist this Valentines Day Hallmark Holida is...and I agree to an extent. I agree one should not spend a boat load of cash of jewerly. Flowers, chocoalte, champagne and ligerie...What else does a gal need? Oh right, Hammer Time. Anyhow, have a blast, try to get your pickle tickled and keep on Sippin.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Sleep With One Eye Open, The Wolves Are Hungry

I dont know if you all have noticed this, and maybe it's because all I think about is Snap, BUT these last couple weeks around the city(Manhattan) I have noticed the female sex acting out of character. I am not afraid to make a lil eye contact with a cutie, on a train, on the sidewalk, in a restaurant or at a store...but usually they look away...mostly in fear. Well not any more baby! LAtely, I find myself looking away before they do. And I found myself asking, Why? Well, the only thing i can think of is pure, uncut panic. Hear me out...Panic stems from our weak econmy...less d-bags spending $ on them wastefully, fear that their future employment might be in jeopardy and the lifestlye they have become accustomed to could be a thing of the past. These thoughts create a certain kill or be killed mentality. The hunted has become the hunter! This new female independence could be the GREATEST time in the history of Man. So go out tonight, take a look around, shoot a care bear stare at a gal, go ahead, go border line creepy and see if she looks away...if she keeps staring back, get a mouth peice and hold are the bait and she is hungry like a wolf. God Bless, Sip One for me, will ya?

A Come From Behind VICTORY

The TAR HEELS beat the blue devils 101-87 last night. CAROLINA came on strong down the stretch, using late runs of 25-11 and 14-0 to first take the lead for good and then stretch it to 17. In the process, they snapped the Blue Devils' 14-game home court winning streak while claiming first place in the ACC standings. Sure the Heels had to come from behind, but playing in the Squid Tank Indoor ain't easy, even for a these HEELS. Anyhow, I wont get all crazy and bash all those dookies...but seriously, what a bunch of squids! Carolina has now gone into that sweat box 4 years in a row and beaten down the Cameron Crazies ego's and stomped on their pride. Maybe next year, Squids, maybe next year.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Mid Day Snack, Don't Forget To Hydrate

You all understand the importance to keeping the body hydrated and the furnace that is your digestive system, burning with small snacks.
Up to 70 percent of our body is water!
Muscle is made up of about 75 percent water.
Fat is made up of about 50 percent water.
Bones, too, are about 50 percent water.

CAROLINA vs dook

Here are just a few more reasons to attend Chapel Hill over if you really needed anymore motivation. Nothing makes this guy happier then beating the piss out of a bunch of whiny, floor slamming, tear shedding squids. Sure coach k deserves a tip of the hat and brings in some talent...but can you tell me why they are all so squid like? I mean, how can you feel good about cheering for a bunch of cry babies? Wait, I got it! There fan base is comprised of SQUID NATION! 9 out of 10 girls in Carolina are hot, the other One goes to duke. Let's Go Tar Heels! God Bless You, God Bless Suds and May God Always Bless Ish and The University of North Carolina @ Chapel Hill.

More Bang For His Buck

Feb. 11 (Bloomberg) -- Eric Langan could run a U.S. bank,
based on his $494,713 salary last year, according to President
Barack Obama. Langan would rather stay in his job, overseeing 18
strip clubs as chief executive officer of Rick’s Cabaret
International Inc.
“A bank? No. I’m not interested in working for a bank,”
Langan said in a telephone interview from his office in Houston
Besides, he just got a raise to $600,000, putting him $100,000
over Obama’s cap for a top official of a financial institution
receiving federal bailout funds.
So basically this guy "runs" a bunch strip clubs...which means he has final say who comes and goes. Who gets floor time and who gets massage time, who is a cocktail waitress and who is a cocktasting waitress. How brutal must it be for this guy to go through the hiring process...poor fella. Regardless of what profession he is faced with, he would be dealing with assholes...seems like a no brainer to choose the bleached kind. Well done Langan, you lucky son of a btch. Have a great day.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Sharpen Those Eyes And Find The Lil Prize


This Years 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Model is Bar Refaeli. Apparently last year she was supposed to be cover girl but her excitement led her to YAP about it, blowing the suspense SI believes help sell all these mags. This just in, Men wouldn't care if you told us 4 weeks in advance and women just want to see what the suits look like...well, that's not true...its 2009, I think 65% of the women buying this issue are looking at the Snap Shots just like the boys. Though my numbers may be off, nobody can deny the attraction of bodypaint and all it delivers. Leo, hats off to you. Bar, clothes off to you. Congrats to all that made the mag...get hotter and you may be the next cover girl. Maybe next year Miranda Kerr.

Smile You Son of a Bitch!

A year ago today, we lost a good man. Police Chief Martin Brody, also known as Roy Scheider. Anyhow, if you haven't seen Jaws, the Original, in a while, before you take that trip to Florida, I think its worth a revisit. Simple, yet terrifying.

Monday, February 9, 2009

2 Days a Week, Max

I live a vicious cycle, binge 2 days, purge another and so on. I think what I need is a more balanced plan. The last few weeks have been better, but still not there. That's why tonight I plan on working out, shedding the Suds and taking it slow. Now I am Not saying I will hit the peck deck at Central Ave's gold gym with Vinny The Knob, but some cardio wont hurt. After a weekend of Suds, Salt and Vinegar, my carb face is looking more like a Pelican post scoop then a 32 year old in his prime.