Friday, August 29, 2008

Don't do anything I wouldn't do

Have a great weekend, have a sud for me...and this guy, becuase I am going to bet he is in a body cast by now...keep Sippin them Suds. IANBT

Twister headed for land

everyone head down to the basement and grab on to something

Labor Day...

it aint no big thing

Enjoy the Long One

Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September. The holiday originated in 1882 as the Central Labor Union (of New York City) sought to create "a day off for the working citizens".

Let's all raise an icey cold sud to the Central Labor Union - without them we would not be enjoying the long one. Long weekend that is. So whether you are going:

'Down the Shore',

The Hamptons,

or P-Town....

....Sip some suds and enjoy.

This is a JSS kind of gal

Born in Idaho, moved to Alaska. Played hoops for a championship team, Sarah The Barracuda went on to win first runner up in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant. She hunts, easts moose burgers(I am thinking the same thing), ices fishes, rides snowmobiles and owns a float boat. She smoked chron, sips SUDS and is a NRA lifer. Before getting her nose into politics, she was sports reporter and a commercial fisherman....WHAT? Ok, quick recap. Smart, Sexy, Sudsy, Sportsy, Hot, Sudsy and damn near perfect. JSS, we have our spokeswoman. God Bless The United States of America.


Huh, let's see.. duck calls? check. Benelli? check. Ham's? check. Snap? check.. blonde dome? check..

Think I just chose a new career path... stalker

Thursday, August 28, 2008

US Open continues...

Up and comer Ashley Harkleroad has decided to compete with both Sharapova and Pamela Anderson. This 23 year old star will take it off for Playboy, USA Today reports. So here is a preview. Enjoy and keep sudzin'

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

emergency announcement...

.....please ladies do as they ask, we all know how much JSS loves cats, we can not have any harm come to fluffy!!!

I couldn't agree with you more, pal.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

You know what REALLY grinds my gears?

The other day, as I lay in bed recovering from an evening of over-sudsing, I flipped the channels with eyes half open looking for something, anything to distract me from my pulsing headache. I don't know what channel I stopped on, but what I watched completely held the thought of my aching head at bay, at least for a few minutes.

It was a commercial for the World Wildlife Fund starring Sharon Lawrence, best known for her time on NYPD Blue. According to Wikipedia, she also does charity work for the Alzheimer's Association and Project ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease), but in this brief appearance her main concern was neither of these horrible, deadly human diseases. She was pleading with the viewers to open up their hearts, and wallets, to help save the polar bear. It seems that Climate Change (formerly known as Global Warming, or in the 70's Global Cooling) has been reducing sea ice in the Arctic Ocean at such an alarming rate that it's destroying the habitat of the polar bear. According to her the polar bear could be extinct "before the end of our children's lifetime". It really made me stop and think.

I thought: OK, and?

Look, I am not actively seeking to eradicate polar bears, but here is a list of things that are most likely to happen when humans and polar bears come into contact:

a) the human(s) will die
b) the bear(s) will die

c) both a) and b)

If, God willing, the polar bear becomes extinct, I can't think of a single way that any human life will be negatively affected. Forgive me if I care slightly more about genocide in Darfur, or whether Strahan will sign with the Giants, or if I run out of toilet paper.

Moral of the story: polar bears may look cute and cuddly, but they are not going to give you a Coca Cola at Christmas. They are going to rip you limb from limb and dine on your bowels and won't regret it one bit.

Save the tears, Sarah Lawrence, not the polar bears.

College football right around the corner...something about Erin Andews makes me smile...Smoking girl, covers college football and hoops. I think I could sip a sud with a girl like that. Thursday night Hofsta/UCONN, NCST/USC-Cocks, Wake/Baylor. Oregon St/Stanford. Friday Night Lights: Temple/Army, SoMeth/Rice. Sat night on ABC, Clemson/Bama. Day games: Va Tech/ECU, SoCal/UVA, Appalachian State/LSU-Remember the upset last yr, opening weekend.

Monday, August 25, 2008

U.S. Open? Eh, I guess

The only upside to being a male cheerleader. That and you can really get the crowd fired up.

this guy knows what I'm talking about

He's Killing it

CatGuy, School is in...grab your pencil

It was brought to my attention that Catguy's post of Adriana Lima was false...and after extensive reaserch, we here at JSS have found it to be true,,,the previous post was NOT Lima, but Doutzen Kroes. CatGuy, dont sweat is your homework...Go home, lock yourself in your bathroom and study these pics. When wife asked what your doing in there...the answer is simple..."fighting a monster deuce, too big for hoop!" Let out a grunt and a wimper and she will leave you be. Class dismissed.

Wanna stay in and watch a movie or sumthin?

I walked into this room the other day and all is see is Lima and a chair. Whats a man to do? By the way Jenky- I too am "friends" with Bar, but Lima blows her out of the water.

US Open Begins

We closed the final chapter of the 2008 Olympics last night, and like we all anticipated, Bobby Costas delivered a real tear jerky in his closing remarks. America continued to dominate the Summer Olympics with the likes of Phelps, Lezak, Coach K and the Dream Team, Lo Lo Jones and who can forget the most grueling of all events...the overly celebrated decathlete...the toughest American on land..wait, what's his name? (Bryan Clay) Time to shift gears...US OPEN TENNIS people. Always looking for an invite. Keep us posted on any hot young talent int he greater Flushing area. Suds?

See you in Four Years

I don't know about you, but I am a bit relieved that Beijing '08 has come to a close. Aside from Phelps, Redeemers, Women's Beach Volleyball, and Cuban roundhouse kicks, the last 2 weeks have been a bit of a yawner. So we will have to wait four more years to see some Greco-Roman wrestling, damn.

I dont know about you all, but I am pretty certain this sweater dress should NOT look this good. I don't know what it's going to take, but I reckon after she slams 8 suds, I might just have a chance with this vixen. She lives in West the "where" is already done. Oh and if you're like me, you know...curious to know what lies beneath that cashmere dress, don't is a glimpse.

Friday, August 22, 2008


See you guys at my place around 10? keep on sippin on!

My Kinda Girl

I mean....just sit back, sip an icey cold sud, and watch your girl net bait. Would be a helluva 'catch' if you ask me.

I'm WAAAAAALKIN' in the rain...RACE WAAAALKIN' in the rain!

I've made no secret about my lack of interest in the Summer Olympics. I'd almost go so far as to call it disdain, except that I do feel a bit of a tingle (very faint tingle) anytime an American athlete whoops some ass and takes down a gold medal. So no, it's not disdain, but with apologies to the swimmers among the staff and readership here at JSS, I am not going to pretend that I spend the other 3 years between the Games becoming familiar with the athletes or following the sports. (And yes, I am well aware of the Paraguayan javelin/model chick, and the Feres sisters of Brazil, etc. -- they are unquestionably worthy of masturb, er, adoration and I would totally crush them if given the chance, but that is beside the point)
I have no interest, not even a little bit.


Holy fucking shit people. I watched Women's 20km Race Walking last night, and no it's not the Olympic version of the Million Man March. I always thought Race Walking, or speedwalking as I once called it, was the last bastion of bored, overweight suburban housewives and obese 45 year-old comic book collectors who can't do anything else for exercise lest they snap their brittle legs.

For those of you who are not familiar, it basically consists of walking as fast as you can. Sounds simple, right? Fools. According the the USATF (USA Track & Field), there are only two strict but fair rules:

1) Race walking is a progression of steps so taken that the walker makes contact with the ground so that no visible (to the human eye) loss of contact occurs.

2) The advancing leg must be straightened (i.e., not bent at the knee) from the moment of first contact with the ground until in the vertical upright position.

In case Rule 1 is confusing, which I think it is meant to be, that means that your "advancing" foot cannot "visibly" lose contact with the ground. Of course unless the sole of your shoe is coated in KY Jelly or you are wearing rollerblades, it's virtually impossible to move forward without lifting your foot. Who judges the visibility or, I guess, invisibility of such contact loss? They have judges posted along the 20 km route whose job it is to watch the "pack" (yes, they walk in packs, I didn't think drafting worked at less than 15 miles per hour) for said contact violations. If they detect a violation they slap you in the ass with a yellow paddle. Well maybe they don't slap you in the ass but they definitely slap you.

As for Rule 2, the result of the straightened leg move is that the dozens of women in this race were walking around like they were suffering from severe amoebic dyssentary while acting as coke mules for a Medellin cartel and didn't want to lose their payload before the destination, lest they spend the next 5-10 years in a prison camp in the Gobi Desert getting their asses paddled.

To top it off, it was absolutely pouring from the heavens (or Shangri-La since it's China), and who doesn't love scrawny women with diarrhea soaked to the skin with no end in sight. One of the many amusing sights was watching these women break away from the "pack" so that they could take in some fluids and throw water on themselves to cool off. Just didn't seem neccesary.

As projected by all the experts, the winner was Olga Kaniskina from Russia who walked away with this one. She was way ahead of the "pack" for the entire "race" and won by a huge margin.

It is with great sadness that I offer my resignation from JSS so that I can work toward my new goal: to become an official ass paddler for the USATF. It has been my lifelong dream for over 10 hours now. I thank you in advance for your support, and look forward to seeing you on the ol' dusty Race Walkin' trail.

Wood ya?

Bobby Jenx out on the town - its thursday night - he ends up hooking up with Mrs. Thailand after a long night of sippin suds. Feeling good about himself he decides to tell 2/3 of the whole street = One problem though. She - was a he... These are three "dudes" from the Mrs. Tranny Universe pageant in Thailand. By the way Wood ya (again)?

Anyone else fishing this weekend?

I mean, I am. And Obviously, blondie is. Anyone else? By the way, better hurry up and sip that sud Sally, it ain't gonna stay cold that way, and here at JSS, we like 'em icey. Love your style though.

Just a heads up

JSS content may be a bit light & slightly less witty next week with Mac down on the Jersey shore. Enjoy the vacation Mackie, say hi to Gino & Dominic, and drop a couple fist pumps for me.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

How do you say "LOVE" in German

this girl is literally the girl of my dreams...there is no way I am alone on this one. Let's see...big smile? Check nice skin? Check Blond hair? Check Umm, female body parts? Check. Pearl necklace? Check and Check. One thing is missing...wait, nope, there it is...ICEY COLD SUD.

The perfect Sud

It's called the Turbo Tap. Some genius who also happened to like Suddin' came up with this marvel. It can pour a Sud at up to 4x the rate of a normal Sud Dispenser. Pffft. No brainer.

Co-marketing agreement anyone? Hello?

OK seriously, what do you think of my new hairstyle?

Sometimes you just have to change things up a bit.


what Officer? oh my tailgate is down? no sh1t? anything fall out? nbd

These walls are first You hate em

I think a man working outdoors
feels more like a man if he can
have a bottle of suds. That's only
my opinion.

WTF is wrong with this?

nothing except that this little Sud Sipper isnt old enough to join our fecking blog! He's got an open invite once he figures out how to work a keyboard.. In mean time little fella' keep on Sippin SUDS!

Travel Advisory: No Pumps Allowed! (This means you, Jenx and 2ooth)

Penis Enlargers Can Be Seized Without Inspection, U.S. FDA Says
By Larry Liebert

Aug. 21 (Bloomberg) -- Penis enlargers and constricting rings to maintain erections can be seized at U.S. borders without requiring physical inspection of the devices, U.S.regulators said.

The devices have inadequate directions for use and can have harmful effects, from rupturing blood vessels to causing gangrene of the penis, the Food and Drug Administration said in guidance to import inspectors posted today on the agency's Website.

``Basically, the labeling of these devices falsely states or implies they will treat impotence, prolong erection, and increase the dimensions of the penis,'' the FDA said in the notice.


For your sake lads, I'm glad they figured this out before your trip to Sweden. I found a book that might give you some shops where you can purchase them upon arrival.


Trying to get excited about this potential American(Heather Sud in Mitts in pic above...hell of a ball striker) win over Brazil in Gold Medal Soccer match...ok, I am there. USA USA USA

Anyone sippin?

Purple neglage', check. Sould Glow, just lose that champagne & throw a six shooter of natty light on ice & start sippin'!

Raising the Bar

Bar Rafaeli was just selected to represent Hurley
So the fact that I am "friends" with her on FaceBook is normal...standard or just plain ole fantastic? Ok, that's it...its official...I am a loser. That is what my life has become...sippin almost every night, hanging with dudes and talking about super know what, I am ok with it. Keep Sippin...Keep Sudzin.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Suds blockers

dont fall for them

US women's Beach Volleyball team

goes for the gold tonight

show some support

Oye, Jeeves...ring the f**king bell already.

I've had just about enough of this day.

Svensk flicka

Huh... anyone going to Sverije anytime soon? no, just Jenx & I Oct 30th? huh.. funny. Anyway, 2 things missing here; 1: a footprint on that d-bag's grill & 2: an icey cold SUD.. keep on sippin