Friday, May 29, 2009

Get Er Done

Enjoy the Weekend…French Open, Hoops, should be good up here on the North East, so get it done. Hamptons, Dirty Jerz, Ct, NYC…God Bless America.

Thursday, May 28, 2009


Why not. That and I have nothing to say. Raining out, cold, hung over…still, going to play some golf after work. God Bless…Hope You Are Well.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Where else can you eat like a slob, drink like a hound and bone like a rabbit and still be considered romantic? So what’s the only problem with France? You got it, The French. Not so much because they stick their noses in the air and huff ciggs like they own the joint or that they rest on their laurels of past accomplishments(Look up Napoleon) or that men where Capri pants driving vespa’s with bobble helmets on skinny male frames(see Lego Head) …IT’S because the hate us Americans…and why? Let’s think about this. Sure they helped us out during the Revolutionary War mostly because of their hatred towards the Brits and their Empire. Are they jealous that with their “help” they created THE new world power? Deal with it…its no trophy to have to bail out the rest of the world on a daily basis only to be disliked by those we bail out. You want that responsibility, take it! you selfish power hungry frogs. More Americans have died on your soil defending the Allies’ Freedoms then your own Countrymen. We died for a cause, not so you can spit on our Country every chance you get. Next time you think about damning America and Americans, take a deep breath and realize you are saying it in French, not German. Keep Sippin and Keep Eating and Keep Speaking French, Just Appreciate That Luxury. May God Bless America

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Holy Crap

A New Jersey woman, playing craps for only the second time, set a record for the longest craps roll -- 4 hours, 18 minutes, the Associated Press reports. It says Patricia Demauro, of Denville, N.J., pulled off the feat at the Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa in Atlantic City, N.J., this weekend. The AP says the previous record was 3 hours, 6 minutes set nearly 20 years ago at a Las Vegas casino.

It took her 154 rolls to finally Crap Out…coincidently, it took Shocky only 2 Rolls to Pass out pool side in Vegas this weekend. Keep it up Shockey, you are looking great pal! A real American hero. TY TMZ.

Friday, May 22, 2009

You Can't Be Serious

Leave the glasses on, would ya? I love this look and something tells me you do too. Anyhow, heading to Paris tonight for a long weekend of heavy day bombing, non stop eating and of course, some good ole fashion Frog leg bonin. If you cant get it done in Paris in the spring, well then its time to crack that window, take a deep breath and give flying a shot. French Open on Suday…I reckon the spice will be everywhere…of course bringing spice to the spice mkt never hurts. I will show these surrender monkies how we do things here in the states. Smoke up Johnny Lizard Lips and may God Bless America.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Rain or Shine, you know what time it is…Fleet Week. I know dudes that get more amped up for this then they do for Lady Cher opening up for Sir Elton John and George Michael covering “Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me”… God Bless their tender hearts. Either way, the midshipmen are here covering the city streets like white knights. Bottom line, these American Men and Women deserve our utmost respect. So ladies, if you are reading this, do us a favor…go out and give one of these lads some gratuitous lovin. Hell, even if some of them never see the front line, at least they are doing something with their lives. That’s worth a hammer shot.

Let’s not forget the women serving in our armed forces…they need lovin just as much as the men…of course the opportunities they have for getting their fill are limitless. GET SOME, JANE!

So There I Was

Let’s see, watermelon helmet-check, Aladin styled nap sack-check, peace of cloth found in nana’s closet-check, gymnastic taped wrists hiding 9 suicide attempts-check, urin stained tubing-check. Alright FLEET WEEK, LETS DO THIS!

Man oh man, I will tell ya, I have felt more like Willy Lowman over the last few days then Old Lowman himself. Sure 4 days in Bermuda(had Dark and Stormys bleeding out my ears) doesn’t suck and Florida(who drinks Gin anymore? I did, I wont again) this time of year could be worse. I guess Texas(Tecate)is beautiful in the later spring months …its just heading to Paris tomorrow that has me asking the question, Who the Fck do I think I am? What is that expression? You cant be buried with your money, you cant spend it when your dead? Cool, that being said, should I head to the heavenly kingdom tomorrow, well, I will be in good shape. Hope you all have been doing well, sorry but I am not a big “please remove your computer from your bag, place shoes on the belt” kind of guy. I sit in front of a computer all week long…that’s about all I can stand. Will be back…God Bless, 80 degrees and Sunny, Fish are here, Suds are here. See you on the water?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

One Way To Work The Hammer

So today is a 10 out there…what does that mean? It means tonight’s lining up for a big one…and being that it’s a synthetic Friday for me, Suds will be had. Smitty and I are taking it back to where it all began…The Birth Place of JSS…Bell 42, Long Island Sound. The bunks are here, the bass are here…well, not here here but they are there. Have a great night…hopefully we will have some pics of a nice juicy Striper…until then, chew on this.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Miss California, Carrie Prejean keeps her crown, her pride and hotness. Well done Donald, you got this one right. The Pageant gave her a new set of cans and then criticizes her for taking nude photos a few years ago. Lets be honest, these girls are celebrated for many talents, but being goddess like is of most importance. So lets all take a step back. A couple classy ham shots and an honest answer to ghey marriage question should not end her career…actually in this case, it makes it. So congrats Carrie…now do us a favor and get those hams back on the trail, and maybe snap a few topless shots for us Americans. Thanks TMZ

Monday, May 11, 2009

A Wet Brazilian, Not Always A Good Thing

CORIMATA DA CIMA, Brazil (AP) — Northern Brazil's worst

floods in decades have driven 218,000 people from their homes to

seek refuge wherever they can, packing onto flatbed trucks and

braving rivers teeming with deadly reptiles in a scramble for

higher ground.

Can you imagine all those creepy crawlers and slithering suckers coming for blood? Would put me into a full blown panic attack. I think my heart would implode before I actually got attacked. And don’t get me started on night crawlers…oooof, good luck Brazil, we are thinking of you.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Fire, Fire On The Mountain...And In The Valley

Listen, I am fed the fck up with all this rain, fog, gorilla’s in the mist bullsht. Can we get some sun up in this Land of the Lost. Like Clinton the cigar stabbing SOB, I feel your pain. So here is a ray of hope, a glimmer of sunshine…So as Richard Dawson sol elegantly put in during the 1987 hit flick RUNNING MAN, “I GIVE YOU FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIREBALL!!!”

PS- This futuristic movie took place in 2019…so if Stephen King is right, which he most certainly always is, then we have 10 years to GET RUNNING!!!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Fight Swine Flu From The Inside

So a few of the fellas have been talking about getting healthier, eating smarter, smaller meals more frequently etc, to balance the Sud intake and the lack of movement during the business hours. Anyhow, bottom line is, eat like a caveman, live a healthier life. GOOD: raw foods(fruit, veggies, snapper), chicken, meat, fish, you get the drift. BAD: processed cereals, chips, granola bars, soda. Nice work Bex, Nice work Smitts. Let’s hope we all follow suit.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

In 1862 They Shot The French And Sipped A Few

Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for "fifth of May") is a regional holiday in Mexico, primarily celebrated in the state of Puebla. The holiday commemorates the Mexican army's unlikely defeat of French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. The outnumbered Mexicans defeated a much better-equipped French army that had known no defeat for almost 50 years.

I have seen my share of debauchery on good ole Cinco De Mayo and tonight should be no different. I am hitting the Yanks/Saux game…looking to be a wash out, but what can you do…I will tell you what you can do, you can get a bottle of Tanteo Tequila, Sip it like a gentleman and before you know it, it will be 75 and sunny. So go ahead and order some Mexi for lunch, Tecate for happy hour and Tanteo for dinner…leave the salt, save the lime and chew on a taco will ya? God Bless You and God Bless El Dirty Sanchez!