Make Sure You Get It Right

Last night I had to attend a party where jeans were not aloud...anyhow, I had to hit up Brooks Brothers(that's right) to get a nice pair of slacks...no pleats, because A)I am not 60, and B) I am not a fat ass...or so i thought. I just went from a 34 to 35...I may not be Fat Guy...but I aint "in shape" guy...maybe I should be wearing pleats. Anyhow the reality is, I would rather be comfy and fat in 35's then cramped with Pride in 34's. Nothing worse then the ole 20 pounds of crap stuffed into a 10 pound bag. Go for comfort, leave the Pride in the dressing room.Lightly butter this Muffin and you might actually have a nice meal.

Seing Eye Dog Banned from Resturant

Alun Elder-Brown, a recruitment executive, said he was left feeling "like a piece of dirt" after being barred from bringing the animal into Kirthon Restaurant in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, on religious grounds.
It follows a series of successful prosecutions of Muslim taxi drivers who refused to carry guide dogs in their cars because they considered them unclean on religious grounds.
Mr Elder-Brown was taking his girlfriend out to celebrate her birthday with her five year-old daughter last week when he was told he would have to leave his dog, Finn, tied up outside.
He showed a card issued by the Institute of Environmental Health Officers certifying he and his dog were allowed into any premises but an argument ensued and the owners threatened to call the police if he did not leave.
"I was made to feel like a piece of dirt. They told me I couldn't come in because it was against their religious beliefs to have a dog in the restaurant.
Under the Disability Discrimination Act it is illegal to refuse to serve a disabled person of give them a diminished level of service because of their disability.
Shamin Ahmed, a partner in the restaurant, said that he had written to Guide Dogs for the Blind to apologise for the incident.
“We were worried about the hygiene, that is what happened, it was a mistake,” he said.

Ok, let me get this right Muslims are concerned about hygiene... They may want to share this fact with the last 15-20 Muslim cab drivers that have driven me around New York. Ok, you wipe your ass with your hand, but a dog can't sit next to you because it is unsanitary. I don't know it doesn't make any sense to me. I would rather eat with a dog then split a sandwich with ass hand.

This is not a religious rant because #1 I have a beard and #2 I was just listening to a little Yusef Islam this morning to get my mellow on, but I don't trust people that don't trust dogs. I mean dogs love everyone, except Terminators. Dogs hate Terminators, when the machines attack dogs are the only ones that can tell them from real people.

If I owed a business I would love to have blind customers. I mean you toss a couple sand-Os out there, hit on his girlfriend behind his back, and then over charge him by 300%. I mean you totally rob him blind...

Reverend X

We need to get the SPIRIT OF JESUS up in dis joint for the Holidays!

Big Foot sighting...

I love this scientist - he is straight out of a Toto video, but he takes himself so seriously. Oh yeah and what is her measuring? Well I guess if you got a 20" foot...

Two missionaries with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints received a scare on the night of Dec. 2 when they saw what they think was a set of Sasquatch footprints outside of their Burns Lake home.

The footprints, which Beck said was about 20 inches long is right in front of Beck’s porch, leading to the path where the pair keep their wood shed.

A sighting in Houston in late July by Delores Harrie captured international media attention.

Harrie saw the creature out at her home on Buck Flats Road on July 28.

At 5:45 a.m. that morning, Harrie heard her dogs barking at the door. When she went down to investigate she saw that someone or something was rattling the door handle.

She eventually opened the door and the dogs were out like a shot, sniffing out something on he east side of her property.

When she looked out at the side of her house, she saw a creature that was walking on two legs.

“It was huge and it had long hair, not fur — kind of like the kind you see on an ox and a reddish brown, the colour of the trees that are killed by the pine beetle,” said the woman.

“And it moved so fast, by the time I opened my door it had run from the porch to the other side of the house.”

“I was worried but what do you do, tell people your dog is chasing Bigfoot?” she asked. “I drove up and down the road, looking for him and eventually he came back.”

After Harrie’s report, there was a report on Telkwa High Road and sightings in Campbell River.

I love all this stuff - Big Foot, Lochness, Bat Boy, megalodon, chubacabra, DB Cooper - it is like the DH rule - everyone has an opinion. I worked with a guy once that was convinced that his life was in danger because he had proof that Aliens exist and that the driver shot JFK. Of course the whole assassination was because JFK was going to expose them.

Now I don't want to burst the whole Big Foot bubble, but I know a couple things about Big Foot and he is not going to be in Houston in July. Do you know how hot it is there? I mean this thing 8-10 feet tall and covered in hair, do you really think that you are going to vacation in Houston? Please. It was some homeless dude. I watched the Big Foot Six Million Dollar Man episode like 10x.

Nippleson Responds

ESPN-Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods have a complicated relationship to begin with. Now it could be made even more awkward after what Woods' caddie had to say about Mickelson over the weekend.
Steve Williams drew the ire of the world's third-ranked golfer when, during an event in New Zealand, he said, "I wouldn't call Mickelson a great player, 'cause I hate the dick," according to The Guardian newspaper of Britain.
In a next-day interview with another newspaper, the New Zealand-based Star Times, Williams also said, "I don't particularly like the guy. He pays me no respect at all and hence I don't pay him any respect. It's no secret we don't get along either."
When Williams' remarks began to circulate, Mickelson put out a statement through his representatives.
"After seeing Steve Williams' comments all I could think of was how lucky I am to have a class act like Bones on my bag and representing me," he said. Mickelson's caddie, Jim MacKay, is nicknamed "Bones." Pictured here, Mrs. Woods and Mrs. Mickleson/Nippleson/ManBoobs/D-Bag/I would still bone his wife/Mickleson, in happier times.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSweet

BANGKOK (AFP) – Scientists have discovered more than 1,000 species in Southeast Asia's Greater Mekong region in the past decade, including a spider as big as a dinner plate, the World Wildlife Fund said Monday.
A rat thought to have become extinct 11 million years ago and a cyanide-laced, shocking pink millipede were among creatures found in what the group called a "biological treasure trove".
You know what...let's go ahead and cancel that trip to Mekong. I have enough issues checking my bed for harmless domestic North American spiders. Pretty sure I would freak out my first night in Mekong, run out into the wilderness and become a stat, just like that. Can you imagine being alone in the jungle, at night...every sound you hear would just about give you a heart attack...and then once you get comfy, thinking everything would be fine...WHAM, you have a snake on your grill. But dont worry, he wont eat you whole...Thats where the cyanide laced centipedes and dinner plate sized sppiders come out...bit by bit.

A hunter is born.

That right folks - I went hunting this weekend for the first time. The highlights. Drinking Beam and wearing a full body Carhart suit that was made for someone 40lbs lighter. The scariest part... when the hunter we didn't know was moving a decoy and asked if "anyone had a little hammer"? I said "yeah I do" and I unzipped my pants "but i don't think that's gonna help."

Hunting rule #4 - don't pull your hammer out in the duck blind. Who knew?

Breakfast of Champions....

I mean they had me at weaved bacon...that is old world craftsmanship. Thanks to my Johnson for the find.

Keep It Clean This Weekend

Have a great weekend. Me, Tooth and SweetDick Mackie are heading out to Long Island. SDM will try surfing, but hear it will blow. Tooth and I will hunt...but probably get shut out. Either way, Sip a couple Suds, watch some solid football Sunday, try to get outside...30's but Sunny all weekend long.

Romance spoiled...

When the Binney Drive resident returned from work Wednesday night, he noticed something that could be considered unusual -- a 28-year-old woman drinking beer on his roof.
By Will Greenlee | TCPalm.com
7:29 AM EST, December 12, 2008
FORT PIERCE -
He reportedly told Amber D. Smith, of the 700 block of North Indian River Drive, several times to get down from the roof and leave, but she "objected and refused to do so," according to a recently released police report.
Police were dispatched about 9:15 p.m. to a "drunk pedestrian on the roof" and arriving officers heard the man twice tell Smith to leave. Smith reportedly said she'd leave if the 37-year-old man gave her more beer, police reported.
Smith faces a disorderly intoxication charge.
In January, Smith was "placed under a Marchman Act (alcohol problem) due to being unable to take care of herself due to her state of intoxication," a police report states.
In October, Smith was suspected of stealing money from her sister to buy alcohol, according to a police report. Last week, an officer went to her apartment on a disturbance report, according to a police report, and the officer reported Smith was intoxicated and wouldn't "quiet down."

Sounds like "little squaw like'em fire water". I don't understand what is wrong with the guy that called the cops. I mean, you come home and there's a chic on your roof drinking beer and all she wants is more beer... I call 411 and get the nearest beer delivery service - not 911. I mean isn't this how every Florida love story starts? Girl is drunk on roof from a 3 day "Girls Gone Wild" bender - guy comes home from pool clean job - see girl - fluffs mullet and bang - 10 beers - 15 mins later they are parents. Thanks to my Johnson for the look.