Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Isn't there always a catch... - Coffee, tea . . . porn? Flight attendants are urging American Airlines to filter its in-flight Internet service to block passengers' access to raunchy pornographic Web sites. The Association of Professional Flight Attendants said both employees and passengers have raised "a lot of complaints" since the WiFi service was put in place as part of a test project on several cross-country flights out of Kennedy Airport last month, Bloomberg News reported. The association said it met with AA officials and called on them to install filters to block offensive content. Although the move to carry WiFi access on planes has created a new revenue stream for the ailing aviation industry, it also has created new headaches as passengers retrieve sensitive e-mails and adult Web sites in tight quarters. "Customers viewing inappropriate material on board a flight is not a new scenario for our crews, who have always managed this issue with great success," he said. Passengers have been allowed to bring porno mags and personal DVDs on board flights.

I can't believe that no one told me about this. I had to read it on the Stool, but 'copy and paste' is what got me through college and I promise I will get the footnotes going next week. More importantly, what are the airlines thinking... No pillows, no food, and limited drinks. Last time I flew the waitress gave me a dirty look when I ordered a scotch for $8 handed her a $20 and said "then make it two", winked and patted her on the ass.

I mean what do they think the Internet was invented for. Al Gore may have invented it, but Larry Flint owns it now. I have been working on perfecting a mathematical theorem (like good Will Hunting) here is what I got so far - Blanket + a 12 hour flight + an Internet connection = wood. A little aside here, if you snap it on an airplane does that get you into the "mile high club"? As a follow up - what about Denver? It is the "mile high city", so that counts right? I mean snappin' it in Denver has to totally counts. Well at least that is what my friend says, he is really desperate to get into the "mile high club".

And I can heard the flying waitresses now arguing that they are there for safety. I got news for you sweetie - when a 4 ton piece of metal falls out of the sky at 50,000 feet the outcome is SPLAT! And I will tell you something else, if I am going out that way, I want the two scotches and a little in flight porn. Is that too much to ask?

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