Wednesday, January 28, 2009

'Cello scrotum' exposed as a hoax

LONDON, England (CNN) -- A medical ailment that has worried male members of string sections across the music world for over 30 years has been exposed as a hoax.
Male cellists of the world can breathe easy again.

A senior British lawmaker confessed to making up the condition known as "cello scrotum" -- which relates to chafing from the instrument -- after reading about another musically-related ailment called "guitarist's nipple" in the British Medical Journal in 1974.

Elaine Murphy, who is a member of The House of Lords and a trained doctor, came clean about the prank she devised with husband John in a letter to the BMJ published on Wednesday.

She said: "Perhaps after 34 years it's time for us to confess that we invented cello scrotum.

This is just cruel, cruel and sad! Flash back to 1985 - I was in school band and all I wanted to do was play the cello. And I was a natural from the moment I touched that cello - it was magic, but then when I got home I noticed a rash... It got worse and worse until my mom took me to a Doctor who diagnosed young Sweet Dick with cello scrotum - I never played the cello again. And now it turns out that the whole thing was a hoax and that it was probably the fact that I was jacking off 7 times a day with Ben Gay and sandpaper and nothing to do with play the cello naked.

Well, I hope your happy Elaine Murphy because your funny little joke cost a young boy his life dream. I'm not bitter that I could have been a concert cellist and now I'm the night shift manager of the Port Chester Dunkin' Donuts/blogger or that I'm a 300lb alcoholic searching for meaning in my life because it was a really funny joke. Well played Elaine, well played.

1 comment:

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